We, Sonny and Cher, are two (Abyssinian) cats from Denmark, and we have made this website FOR YOU! NOT your human(s), but for YOU! And we want YOU to contribute to our site by sending us pictures and stories or cat product reviews. Help us make this the best and funniest cat site in all of Cyberspace!
Hi, I'm Nina. I do these exercises daily, 'cause it's real important to stay fit! I call this exercise the "heel stretch". It's very difficult to do. I still can't do it without having a wall to lean against. But I'll get there. When I get reallly good at this, I'm gonna be on Broadway. Or maybe I'll try out for a cheerleading squad. Who knows...
It has been noted in studying my humans they have been paying entirely too much attention to a machine they call a PC. I have tried sitting in their lap whilst they play with a keyboard and thingy called a mouse. (Of all things!) Then walked across the keyboard while in use and was promptly deposited on the floor and admonished for my inconsiderate behaviour.
After due consideration it is now my conclusion that setting on top of the monitor and just staring at them for long periods of time accomplishes a much better result. Instantly I am treated with warmth from the offending object they stare at for hours and eventually rewarded with phrases for being a good kitty receive generous amounts of love and special treats.
Take heed my feline comrades, humans are so very easy to train if you know the meaning of patience.
Yours in consul, Sir Felix the Third a/k/a/ FeeLee
FROM: Sir Felix, 07/29/09
•• Lie on the monitor and stare at your human for hours!
Just a reminder to all felines of the world. Never forget to honor Bast!
Her appearance in our lives can be traced back to 3200BC and among many of her duties she protected humans from diseases and evil sprits. She was responsible for their health and healing as well as joy, music and dancing.
Cats were considered manifestations of the Deity then, were sacred and protected the humans grain from rats and mice. A human that killed a cat in those times was punished by death!
We were once worshipped as Gods......Never forget that!
The forgoing is brought to you as a public feline service to you while "Guarding Bast".
Yours in Feline Friendship, Lady Gray a/k/a "Smoke" and Sir Felix the Third a/k/a FeeLee
Always remember humans have many functions, among the most important are to feed us, play with us, give attention to us, and to clean the litter box.
They can be taught many more complex and useful services such as grooming and sleeping arrangements to name a few, additionally they need to know basic rules involving our care and be constantly aware of our needs.
Humans can be taught quite easily if you start early and are consistent in your training routines. Rewarding them occasionally with affection by purring loudly and rubbing ones whiskers or tail upon them will further motivate them to become more subservient.
Do not be afraid to punish them with a low growl or well placed paw (claws extended) if they err in training. Above all never forget that it is extremely important to maintain one's dignity when around humans so they will always know who is the master of the house and universe they reside in.
I was just 1 motnth old when Evi found me. Someone set me on a flowerbed to die. I had a very sick eye and i was also underweight. Evi took me to to the docktor and since then I stayed with her.
The docktor said that i have to have a surgery to survive. They needed to remove my left eye. Evi gave a premision to do that operation and keep me as a friend. Time to time Evi cleans my eye but mostly i can handle it myself.
I was found on 14th of July, 2007. Sience then my birthday is on 14th of July cause nobody really knew when i was born.
Nowadays we are best buddys. We play together alot. My favourite toy is grey mouse. If Evi comes from work i'm very happy. Together we have been through many obstacles. Thanks to Evi, i have wonderful and lovely home and family.
Love, Pupsik.
Estonia, Parnumaa
FROM: Pupsik, 07/01/09
•• The clothes drying rack can be a great place to sleep!
Fireplace usage is of the utmost importance during winter months in the northern hemisphere and the following advice is respectfully submitted for your enlightenment;
#1 Whisker rub your human promptly or purr loudly when they attend the fire to maintain the consistent warmth from it.
#2 Offer additional soft purring if they do not drop wood and manage the fire quitely without disturbing you.
#3 Always place yourself on the hearth rug in the warmest section and be aware of your tail placement at all times.
#4 Older mature cats should never allow subordinates or offspring to share this section irregardless of how they sulk or complain.
Trusting this advice will insure warm winters ahead for you,
I am yours respectfully, Lord Theodore a/k/a Ted
(Guest appearance by Lady Victoria)
FROM: Lord Theodore a/k/a Ted , 06/28/09
•• Always place yourself on the hearth rug in the warmest section
... if you know how to handle them. Like I do - see picture. But be careful; some dogs are not to be trusted. You think you are having a good time, playing, having fun, and suddenly - WHAM! - he'll bite you. And some dogs have BIIIIIIG teeth. So: HANDLE WITH CARE!
Our names are Oreo (black and white), Sugar (Grey and white) and Baby (brown,black,white). We wanted to send you some funny pictures our mom took of us with her new laptop. They're really silly, and they were fun to make!
Mom loves hanging out and playing with us, she's awesome and loves us very much! We hope you like our pictures!
FROM: Oreo, Sugar and Baby, 02/25/09
•• Oh yeah! Come on little girl…I have been lying like this for two ours now, waiting for you to give me a kiss..
Remember – when the humans are taking pictures of you, they are focused on seeing how cute you are – not on what youre actually doing. This is a great time to attack their face for giving you a flea bath or any other unfortunate occurrence.
Have you been awakened at night by strange noises? Do you have a deathly fear of mice or rats? With the Kitty Security System all your fears will be put to rest. Our specially trained kitties will protect your home not only from mice and rats, but also birds, houseflies and just about anything that is small and fast moving!
You can receive the Kitty Security System for $40 or two low payments of $19.99 (plus tax)!
Note: The Kitty Security System is not substantial protection against burglars, dogs or vacuum cleaners.
As the title implies, The World Is Your Litter Box is a humorous book, premised as a how-to manual for cats and “written” by one of their own (me, with minor help from my human, Steve). The book is laugh-out-loud funny, loaded with cat attitude, and underscored by the combative, yet loving relationship between me and Steve. The book is a must-read for all cats and cat lovers!
For more information about The World Is Your Litter Box, including excerpts and reviews, please click on the URL below.
Hi every cat!
Today I want to promote this wonderful product my she-human has bought for me, a plastic plant, not exactly to decorate my scratching post as you can see.
High plastic technologies to make a flexible, durable multileaf branch, that allows to exercise and tone up muscles and whiskers, to practice paw catching skills, and get safe teeth cleaning.
Don't miss this opportunity to put a plastic plant in your life, just 75 Euro cents in Chinese stores!
Instructions to use.
*** Human-cat interactive toy.
*** Human must wave the thing in front of your cat nose.
*** To make human enjoy, cat must pretend to be fighting to save one of his seven lives.
*** Don't swallow any loose part, remember, if you get hungry during practice is better to meow for food.
... just do what I do; look cute and helpless. It works every time.
Practice your look of helplessness in front of a mirror. Or just copy my "helpless expression" - see photo. I also master the "art of cuteness" to perfection.
When you look like this, those silly humans will do anything for you. ANYTHING! They are sooooo easy : )
Hi, my name is Clovis. I am a tortoise shell mix. I should be able to play this guitar because I have thumbs on both of my front paws. I am just too tired to play it now...(yawn...meep...meep).
Here you can warn your fellow felines about disgusting cat litter that smells of cheap human perfume, or give them good advice on how to scare off annoying little children that insist on chasing you around the house and pulling your tail, or you can tell all the other clicker-cats about how YOU clicker train YOUR human to give you more treats.
JUST IN: 
